What John Mayer Said

"That girl is like crack cocaine to me. Sexually, it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm. There are people in the world who have the power to change our values. Have you ever been with a girl who made you want to quit the rest of your life?

Did you ever say, ‘I want to quit my life and just fucking snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to fuck you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep fucking you.'"

That quote was made by the musician, John Mayer, during a Playboy interview that he did in 2010. I'd been a big fan of Mayer's first album, Room For Squares, which came out in 2001, while I was living in Indianapolis. It was such a smooth, mellow album and would become one of my "go to" CDs to listen to during my second deployment. As the years went by, I became less aware of him and even when his infamous Playboy interview made so many waves, I did not think much of it or him. Now, 12 years later, I read that article and I am shocked and amazed that neither Yale, Harvard or Princeton, has awarded Mayer an honorary degree in letters. After all, his thesis (above) is simply stupendous and it is so good that I am angry that I did not come up with it. The truth is that I couldn't have come up with words this good, but man, have I lived it! From the moment I first entered your body, to this very day and indeed, very second, I have felt and known what he was talking about; I KNOW how an addict feels, because I have experienced you! I am convinced that those who disapproved at Mayer's comments were shocked by the passion in which he spoke and found his words to be absurd and over-the-top. That's fine because to have such a true addiction for anyone is just not something that most will ever experience, so they are forgiven. I certainly didn't understand it then, but now, 10 years later, I'm totally empathetic. I am addicted and you are my favorite drug.